Stigma This...Stigma That

Stigma (noun) 1. a mark of disgrace or infamy; a stain or reproach, as on one's reputation.


With elections soon underway there are the usual dirty tactics, attack adds & using various forms of stigma against political opponents. This I'm sure comes as no surprise to anyone reading this but two cases of stigma shaming have stood out to me in particular.


First, 28-year-old, Democratic Congressional hopeful Krystal Ball of Virginia has been experiencing a great deal of "slut shaming" lately. Pictures were released on the internet of her sucking on a reindeer dildo that was on her then husbands face at a Christmas party as well as leading him around on a leash.


These pictures are not explicit, just a young married couple being flirtatious and playful the way young couples do. Yet, such a big deal has been made about them by conservative pundits and her opposition alike you'd thing she was blowing the football team! "The stigma of Whore" I call this. Making a woman out to be lustful and over sexualizing her in order to discredit anything she does or stands for.


Then there is Rand Paul. Don't get it twisted! I do NOT support Rand Paul's politics but I do support him in this. An attack add came out trying to paint him as a (better have your kids leave the room)

GODLESS ATHEIST!

Which horrible tool of the religious right would do such a thing you ask? Well, shamefully it's Democrat, Jack Conway. I couldn't be more disappointed & neither could Claire McCaskill. She said

"This ad is a very dangerous ad because it reaches back to college."

You know what I HAVEN'T seen? I have yet to find a popular publication that stated what I'm sure anyone reading this who is an Atheist is thinking...

So what if he WAS an Atheist?!?

Anybody ever think of THAT? I'm thoroughly disappointed with the supposed "Liberal Media" for failing to take that position. It seems like everyone is so busy trying to get elected and not alienate the religious masses that they are afraid to call this what it is.

Stigmatization of "Godless" people.

Which is why it is so fitting that another definition for stigma is



2. marks resembling the wounds of the crucified body of Christ, said to be supernaturally impressed on the bodies of certain persons, esp. nuns, tertiaries, and monastics.

Man Up...Woman Lie

I had the pleasure of sharing a video exchange with one of my YouTube friends johntheother in which we discussed horrible dating rules men and women are expected to follow.


In johns video he explains that in all his online research he really found two sets of rules.

1. Rules for women that men wish women knew.

These rules tend to be self deprecating like,"Whenever possible say what you have to say during commercials" and "Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we." John states that the point of these rules is that "men are boorish idiots."

So that's where that comes from!

My question is...what came first the rules or the lack of depth? I have to admit it's been a while since I've dated and it's mostly because just about every guy I meet seems to care more about his car or biceps then about current events or politics.

Oh wait, didn't I hear a rule somewhere that you shouldn't discuss politics on the first date?

I can't share my body with a man whose mind I don't respect even if I don't plan on keeping him around. If you're one of the guys that actually thinks this way and you're reading this (which you probably won't be since this has nothing to do with cars or biceps) you're ruining my sex life with your blank stares. Good looks only get you so far honey so do a little reading!

2. Womens rules for men.

These rules usually come off very demanding like, "you better do this or your toast" or "YOU'RE WRONG."

I'm beginning to see a theme with both these sets of rules and it sounds like "men are not supposed to be too deep or think too much." *Sigh...I'm never getting laid :-(

Ultimately john states that he has one rule and it sounds good to me, "Treat women like adults."

I guess it best to let john speak for himself. Enjoy







As soon as I saw Johns video I was inspired and being that my content has been a little heavy lately I thought it would be something I could have a little fun with.

This video is my book review of

Think Like A Guy by Giuliana Rancic.

This book is filled with the stupidest dating advice I have ever heard in my entire life. It is full of just as much shallowness as the rules for men but with a healthy dose of slut shaming to wash it down. Some of the rules are:

Tip #38 Never wear a costume that requires a mustache. (Hey baby...ya wanna mustache ride?)

Tip #46 Don't own a dog that fits in your purse. (Sorry, Fifi.)

Most of this womans advice comes down to one rule...LIE!

Tip #13 Don't admit you were a bad student. (Did you know Albert Einstein didn't get very good grades?)

Tip #23 Never admit you've slept with more then five guys.

This one she just goes on and on about even into the next tip. Laughably she ends up saying you shouldn't be ashamed if you've been "around the block a few times" to which I say

WHY SHOULD YOU LIE ABOUT SOMETHING YOU'RE NOT ASHAMED OF?

She swears a man is going to dwell on it until his dying day. She even says he will think you're "nasty!"


ARG!!!!! Just watch the video:






Well, I'm sorry Mrs. Rancic (Formerly known as Ms. DePandi). As a sex positive feminist I refuse to lie about my sexual history to someone I may be intimate with. I don't kiss and tell but when I know I'm gonna kiss...I do tell.

Why? We sex positives are trying to change the puritanical and judgmental attitudes this society has concerning sex. I refuse to be ashamed of my sexuality and I refuse to pretend that I'm not but then lie as if I am.

I am a beautiful, responsible, sexual being and there's nothing wrong with that. I am not defined by what I do with my vagina and any man that judges me as such does not need the pleasure of my company.

Say what you like but sexual responsibility starts with honesty; with yourself and with your partner. We should not only be discussing our history's but what kind of contraception we will be using and our sexual boundaries as well. It is the safe, sane and responsible thing to do...

And do it I will!