Man Up...Woman Lie

I had the pleasure of sharing a video exchange with one of my YouTube friends johntheother in which we discussed horrible dating rules men and women are expected to follow.


In johns video he explains that in all his online research he really found two sets of rules.

1. Rules for women that men wish women knew.

These rules tend to be self deprecating like,"Whenever possible say what you have to say during commercials" and "Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we." John states that the point of these rules is that "men are boorish idiots."

So that's where that comes from!

My question is...what came first the rules or the lack of depth? I have to admit it's been a while since I've dated and it's mostly because just about every guy I meet seems to care more about his car or biceps then about current events or politics.

Oh wait, didn't I hear a rule somewhere that you shouldn't discuss politics on the first date?

I can't share my body with a man whose mind I don't respect even if I don't plan on keeping him around. If you're one of the guys that actually thinks this way and you're reading this (which you probably won't be since this has nothing to do with cars or biceps) you're ruining my sex life with your blank stares. Good looks only get you so far honey so do a little reading!

2. Womens rules for men.

These rules usually come off very demanding like, "you better do this or your toast" or "YOU'RE WRONG."

I'm beginning to see a theme with both these sets of rules and it sounds like "men are not supposed to be too deep or think too much." *Sigh...I'm never getting laid :-(

Ultimately john states that he has one rule and it sounds good to me, "Treat women like adults."

I guess it best to let john speak for himself. Enjoy







As soon as I saw Johns video I was inspired and being that my content has been a little heavy lately I thought it would be something I could have a little fun with.

This video is my book review of

Think Like A Guy by Giuliana Rancic.

This book is filled with the stupidest dating advice I have ever heard in my entire life. It is full of just as much shallowness as the rules for men but with a healthy dose of slut shaming to wash it down. Some of the rules are:

Tip #38 Never wear a costume that requires a mustache. (Hey baby...ya wanna mustache ride?)

Tip #46 Don't own a dog that fits in your purse. (Sorry, Fifi.)

Most of this womans advice comes down to one rule...LIE!

Tip #13 Don't admit you were a bad student. (Did you know Albert Einstein didn't get very good grades?)

Tip #23 Never admit you've slept with more then five guys.

This one she just goes on and on about even into the next tip. Laughably she ends up saying you shouldn't be ashamed if you've been "around the block a few times" to which I say

WHY SHOULD YOU LIE ABOUT SOMETHING YOU'RE NOT ASHAMED OF?

She swears a man is going to dwell on it until his dying day. She even says he will think you're "nasty!"


ARG!!!!! Just watch the video:






Well, I'm sorry Mrs. Rancic (Formerly known as Ms. DePandi). As a sex positive feminist I refuse to lie about my sexual history to someone I may be intimate with. I don't kiss and tell but when I know I'm gonna kiss...I do tell.

Why? We sex positives are trying to change the puritanical and judgmental attitudes this society has concerning sex. I refuse to be ashamed of my sexuality and I refuse to pretend that I'm not but then lie as if I am.

I am a beautiful, responsible, sexual being and there's nothing wrong with that. I am not defined by what I do with my vagina and any man that judges me as such does not need the pleasure of my company.

Say what you like but sexual responsibility starts with honesty; with yourself and with your partner. We should not only be discussing our history's but what kind of contraception we will be using and our sexual boundaries as well. It is the safe, sane and responsible thing to do...

And do it I will!

How to Degrade a Sex Worker

On Sept. 2, 2010 Monica Shores of Spread Magazine did a very even tempered blog post for the Ms.Blog entitled How to Respect Sex Workers.

In this post she makes and elaberates on the following suggestions for having a healthy dialogue with Sex Workers Right's Advocates/Activists.

1-Don’t diminish or mock sex workers’ agency.

2-Don’t assume your problems with the sex industry are the industry’s only problems.

3-Use language with care.

4-Educate yourself.

Inspired by the polite tone of this blog and a hope for peace with the Anti-Porn feminists I happen to share space with on YouTube I made the following video...





Being that I have heard more than one Anti-Porn feminist express a desire for "a healthy dialogue" you would expect this blog post and my efforts to reach out respectfully to be received with a modicum of consideration...and you would be wrong!

In this video made by the commonly know Anti-Porn YouTube feminist iremythpurr not only does she reference me by name but she proceeds to mock my comments on this blog post and many things about me that have no relevance what so ever.

This is just one example of how the "antis" take every well meaning gesture and twist it to not only sow more division within the feminist community but to character assassinate as well.





If you watch it on YouTube you will notice the comment section is full of unwarranted personal attacks and misrepresentations of my positions. One commenter even said:

"That woman has ZERO class. She's a bull in a feminist china shoppe."

another said:

"dick in ya ear is agency! i'm not a "victim" feminist but I am a victim. gawd. i'm going to become an manger of a strip club and then become a "sex workers rights advocate" ie industry rights, not worker rights. muney muneeehhh munns."

Mocking the fact that I used to be a stripper and have since embrace a position of authority in hopes of making the bar more sex worker considerate. But of course, it's easy to mock when you have nothing personally invested in the well being of women you don't even respect.